#like 40 tags deeply analysing the relationship between these two male characters#and ultimately coming to the conclusion#that they are gay#and gay for each other#and implying that this proves completely and irrevocably#that these two men want to kiss#without regarding the fact that#they may be reading just a little too far into a characters actions#nope#no way is that’s what’s happening#followed by 20 tags#all roughly along the lines of#’MY FEELS’#’I CAN’T’#’THIS SHIP IS SO PERFECT’#’MY CREYS’
an amusing comment
an amusing comment
an amusing comment
there i did it you don’t need to make fandom posts any more because i just summed up every single god damn one
Each of the last-reblog links go to youtube videos. In case you were curious, because I was.
*goes to clean off monitor*
I left my phone at home today...this is what I came home to:
- Sister: Started watching Supernatural. Wanted to figure out wtf you're always going on about
- Sister: JESUS - that's how the mom dies!?!
- Sister: Dude, if someone breaks into the house, call the cops. Don't go fight them dumbass.
- Sister: Hey isn't that what's his name from that WB show - what's it called?
- Sister: I like the gf.
- Sister: there's a cat on my porch (pic attached)
- Sister: the lady ghost - what was she on?
- Sister: nevermind, figured it out
- Sister: are they brothers? why don't they just sit on each other's laps?
- Sister: where's the dad? is this going to take all fucking season?
- Sister: I like the car.
- [Nothing for awhile, and then.]
- Sister: YOU DO NOT DISCHARGE A GUN THAT CLOSE TO YOUR LITTLE BROTHER. JESUS CHRIST.
- Sister: THE CAR
- Sister: creepy kids. I don't like creepy kids.
- Sister: well, that was an awkward way to be sucked into hell. what's with the water spot?
- Sister: Your brother wants to go to law school. Let him go to law school.
- Sister: She made him cookies! Adorable - wait kjadfkjv;akd;fjdlk
- Sister: SHE DIES!?! Why the hell am I watching this?!
- Sister: Oh my god. He saved his brother from a fire. Again. Kill me now.
- Sister: we've got work to do? no, you have therapy to go to
- Sister: I'm not watching this anymore....sorry kiddo, not my thing.
- [A little while later.]
- Sister: WHAT THE HELL IS IN THE WOODS?!? THE WOODS THAT LOOK LIKE MY BACKYARD - WHAT IS IN THERE?
4 words I never want to hear
- THE FRIDGE IS EMPTY
- NO COKE ZERO LEFT.
- NO MORE SEX TONIGHT
- I ATE YOUR FOOD
- MY LITTLE PONY SUCKS
- SOUTH PARK IS CANCELLED
- YOUR SHIP ISN’T CANON
- GO ON A DIET
- IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE
- THATS WHAT SHE SAID
- SUPERNATURAL HAS BEEN CANCELLED
- EVERYTHING IS your mom
- DEAN WINCHESTER IS HETEROSEXUAL.
- ON EXTENDED HIATUS INDEFINITELY
- DOCTOR WHO IS FINISHED
- SHERLOCK IS ACTUALLY DEAD
- UNINSTALL YOUR EXTENSION BROWSER
Dear guy who just made my burrito:
Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients from one end to the other, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM TO ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans cannot usually dislocate their jaws to accommodate such methods. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito and not a multi-stage rocket to the planet Fucking Disgustingupiter.
And guess what else, player? You can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer this nonsense. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER.
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
UPDATE: To everyone who keeps saying “WHOEVER WROTE THIS THANK YOU”
And to everyone compelled to say “FIRST WORLD PROBLEM CALM THE FUCK DOWN ITS A BURRITO BITCH UR A FAG WHY ARE YOU GETTING SO MAD”:
That’s the joke.